WHAT’S A
DIVORCE COACH?
During the birthing process, many people hire a doula to provide the logistical and emotional support that makes the experience far easier. During the dying process, death doulas tend to the patient and help them through the transition with care. Divorce is another tender and major life milestone that deserves hands-on, loving support.
Divorce coaches have a wide scope and the flexibility to be there when you need, for whatever you need.
I can literally hold your hand as you initiate tough conversations and even help you game out those conversations ahead of time.
Need help packing his crap into boxes? I’m there.
More importantly, I help you keep your head on your shoulders. Divorce is a highly emotionally-charged experience that will have you acting out in ways that don’t feel aligned to who you really are. That’s not the mindset you want when you have to make life-altering decisions. Together, we keep your head in the game and your eyes facing forward.
As a divorce coach, I’m part of your larger divorce team and I fill in the gaps in support. Your team may include several important and necessary people:
A Lawyer.
I help you make the most of your time with your lawyer so that you save money and stretch that retainer much further. With a divorce coach you’ll get your details in order, know the right questions to ask, and understand the scope of a lawyer’s job so you use your time wisely and efficiently.
Divorce coaches see and work for the benefit of the whole you. Lawyers have advised women to get evicted because it will help the case. Lawyers have advised women to stay unemployed because it will help the case. But these recommendations will hurt you in the long run. Lawyers just don’t see the whole picture. It isn’t their job.
A Therapist.
Very useful for helping you dig through your past to understand how you got to where you are today. But therapists don’t provide hands-on help. A therapist won’t come to your house and help you get your papers organized. A therapist can’t literally hold your hand during a court hearing. Divorce coaches have the flexibility to be where you need, when you need.
Divorce coaches are also specialists in this one specific area. Your therapist’s last client may have been a rehabilitated felon and the client that follows you could be a teenager with depression. To help the variety of people they see, therapists have to have wide, shallow knowledge. With a divorce doula, you get deep knowledge on one topic.
Therapists often take the approach of posing questions to help you explore your feelings. Divorce doulas present all valid options (even the unorthodox, if it works) and talk with you through the selection process so you make progress and solve problems.
A Mediator.
Mediators are wonderful at negotiating compromise between two parties. They won’t, however, help you figure out your non-negotiables and where you’re willing to give and how to base those choices in your values.
Mediators are impartial and work with both partners to come to resolution. Divorce coaches only have your best interest in mind. Your wingwoman, I am unwaveringly on your side.
How It Works
Engaging with a divorce coach looks different for everyone.
People who are just contemplating divorce, for example, need different things than someone who is in the thick of it, who needs different support than someone post-divorce who is still hammering out a co-parenting agreement.
In your free intro call, we figure out where you’re at and make a game plan of what we’ll do during our recurring strategy sessions.
Strategy sessions are 75-minutes each and we can use that time in many different ways, like:
Scripting new, healthier mental narratives
Figuring out how and when to tell friends and family
Planning your escape route
Dealing with the school
Completing paperwork and prepping for meetings with the rest of your team
Keeping you on track, on time, and on pace
Screaming into the void
Grieving over the things you’ll miss
Getting a grip on your finances
And pretty much anything else you can think of
If you find yourself thinking “I don’t know how I’m going to do this” I will help you figure it out, whether that’s physical, logistical, or emotional.
We usually meet in-person. My house, your house, out in the woods somewhere, a coffee shop, wherever works for you.
The initial intro call is totally free. We should see if we’re a good fit.
Each strategy session is $150. If you buy a package of 10, there’s a 10% discount (so, $135 per session). You decide how frequently you need to use a session. You could choose once a week or an entire package in one week. You need to use up a package within six months. You can always renew your package as well.
I can’t accept any insurance.